Some Good News

Today we got some wonderful news. 

A lot of you have asked what's next for Knox and his heart journey. We haven't known what to tell you because we weren't for sure ourselves. We have been waiting to see if the left ventricle of the heart will heal and begin to work better. 

Over the last few weeks our pediatric cardiologist here in Lexington has been very happy with Knox's numbers. She said that it looked like the left side was working better. Like she does every two weeks she sends his numbers to Columbus for our team to look at. 

Today during our visit Dr. Cottrill read us a letter from The Heart Center that said indeed the left side was doing better and believed that in the future it will be a working part of the heart. Which is AMAZING news. I couldn't help but cry tears of joy. 

Yes he will still have to have surgery but this route is the much more ideal route that the one we hoped for. It will also likely require some maintenance later in life. 

Tomorrow Drew and I will celebrate our four year wedding anniversary and we couldn't have asked for a better gift than this wonderful news. 

Please continue to pray for growth and strength for Knox and his heart. The prayers sure are working! 

3 months old

News flash! We now have a three month old baby in the Hatmaker residence! Well, we have for a few weeks, but it has been way busy!

3 month stats: 

Weight: 8.5 Pds 

Length: 21 1/2 inches 

Likes to: 

- suck our thumb

- chew on our hands 

- choo and make noises 

Father's Day

Today is a very special day. Today is Father's Day! Of course, as many of you can gather it also Drew's first Father's Day. 

I got pretty lucky when God designed my perfect match. He designed a wonderful, strong man who loves me unconditionally no matter what the circumstances. But it has never been more evident how amazing and perfect Drew is for me and was meant to be a daddy than this spring. 

God knew that I needed someone strong to sit beside in the hospital on one of our many trips to Central Baptist. He knew that I needed someone to told me when we first received the news about our unborn child. He knew that Drew would be the perfect person to sit with me through labor pains and tell me how wonderful I was and how great of a job I was doing. He made Drew strong to support his wife and child through 47 days at the Children's hospital, but more importantly, he made him the perfect dad. 

I know that I could not have made it through the last couple months without him. Knox is incredibly lucky to have him as a daddy, and I plan on telling him that for the rest of his life. The saying at the top really is true, my love for Drew has grown immensely as I have watched him care for Knox in and out of the womb. 

Not only did God make Drew to be my partner and best friend, but he made the perfect daddy for our precious son. 

So Knox and I hope that we can make the first Father's Day a special one for the one we love and cherish. We can't thank him enough for being the rock for our family. 

Favorite things

Someone is growing in the Hatmaker house! We are almost tipping the scale over 8 pounds! It's hard to believe! 

Here is one of my favorite things about our growing little guy. He smiles a lot. Mornings are the best to catch a few, but we smile throughout the day. 

Today Knox was awake for most of the day until after lunch. He was cranky, but you could tell he was getting tired. After our 3 o'clock feeding he started to dose off. I went to lay him down beside me on the bed, but he started to cry. So I spent my entire afternoon holding him in our bed while he napped. It was quite wonderful. Drew said he was spoiled , but I said one day he wouldn't want me to hold him like this. So I was taking advantage of it while I can. 

One of thing Knox likes to do is take selfies with his mom! Please ignore my nastiness. Apparently it becomes difficult to find time to showe when you have a baby! 

Only 2 more days to buy your Knox Tshirt from the Booster campaign! We are getting so close to our goal of 150 shirts. Proceeds go to Knox Hatmaker and The Heart Center at Nationwide. 

www.booster.com/knoxhatmaker

What's up with Knox?

I have been lacking on the blog posts because we have been busy at home learning our new routine with Knox. Plus he has a very busy social life at only 2 months old! 

Mothers Day - On Sunday, I was able to celebrate my very first Mother's Day with my two boys, my mom, and some family. I was definitely spoiled for my first Mother's Day by my family especially my two boys. They gave me a beautiful ring with Knox's birthstone.  Knox even ordered my favorite flowers. When I asked how he knew my favorite flower, Drew said that was between Knox and Granny. 

Knox's first sheep sale - Knox enjoyed his first sheep sale in Eaton, Ohio last week. We went up to watch Emily sell a few of her Natural Coloreds. Plus it allowed us to use our stroller for the very first time! I really liked it! I see a lot of walks in our future. Lucy (the lamb in the background) was very curious of Knox's stroller. Knox slept through the entire sale. We enjoyed seeing some friends that have been following Knox's story on here and Facebook.

2 Months Old - On May 7th, Knox turned 2 months old! We met our pediatrician for the first time the next day, and had our 2 month shots. Knox barely cried. Those shots were nothing compared to what he has been through. We've seen the cardiologist twice and the pediatrician once since we've been home. Everyone is happy with his progress and his growth. We are now over 7 pounds!

Meeting Laure - Laure Schadler was my midwife that was caring for Knox and I before we found the heart defect. I had to go in for my check up, and we knew she would love to meet Knox. We hated leaving Laure when they sent us to Columbus. She had taken such good care of us. 

Newborn Photos - Though we were a little late we finally had our newborn photos taken. Knox did awesome for our favorite photographer Kelsey Malicote of Malicote Photography. She took some amazing photos that captured our little cutie pie! I'm in love with them all. 

Shirts for Knox - Last, but certainly not least; my best friend Lauren has organized a fundraiser for Knox. Because I wanted to help others, not just us half of the money will go to The Heart Center. The Heart Center was great to us while we were at Nationwide. If you would like to purchase a t-shirt, you can buy one for $20 here. 

Becoming a "mom"

As today is Mother's Day I have been reflecting upon my two months of motherhood.

Throughout your life and definitely throughout your pregnancy you think about how it will be to be a mother.  The moment you find out your pregnant,  hear the heart beat the first time, and meet your child are just a few milestones you long for.

Obviously my path to motherhood hasn't been the regular road like most mothers experience. Well it was until week 29, and then all hell broke lose. Our world was turned upside down. I, then began questioning myself - did I do something wrong, was something my fault, what could I have done differently? Though I knew things weren't my fault I couldn't help but blame myself. When Knox was forced to come early because of my preeclampsia issues, I felt like it was my fault that he was so small and early.

When they delivered Knox and whisked him away to the NICU I barely even got to see him. After a little bit of time they took him to Nationwide Children's Hospital to begin his care for his heart. I was left at my delivery hospital. Drew went with Knox to the children's hospital and our families went to get sleep. My aunt stayed with me, but there I was stuck at the hospital. I had just delivered a baby, but there was no baby in sight. I was a mom, but it sure didn't feel like it. The nurses were ready for me to begin pumping, but at that moment I had no emotional attachment to what had gone on. I just felt alone.

My first day as a mother progressed. Because of the preeclampsia I was confined to bed rest. I was in a rut. I was husband-less, child-less, depressed, and angry. Our families visited Knox at the hospital. Now everyone had seen him, had photos with him, and I hadn't even gotten to hold him. They all talked about him, and all I wanted to do was cry. I was angry at the world. This wasn't how this was suppose to go. This wasn't how every mother dreamed of spending her first day. A mother should be doing kangaroo care, taking pictures of their new family, and welcoming visitors. I didn't feel like a mother.

The following day I was finally allowed to meet Knox for the first time at Nationwide. The wonderful nurse even let me hold him for the first time. I had a son. The three of us were a family.

I won't lie that for the next few days/weeks I continued to struggle. I was scared for what Knox was going through. In my heart I could feel the tug of my heart strings as he had bad days, and had procedures. I knew that I loved that little boy hooked to all the wires and monitors, but I still didn't feel like his mom.

Little moments started happening as Knox progressed that began to pull me out of my hole. I changed his diaper for the first time. I helped with his chest cold care. But the day I got to hold him skin to skin, my world changed. Doctors and nurses asked me questions instead of just telling me things to know. I was a mom. I was Knox's mom.

As I look back now I know that all the worrying I did meant that I WAS a MOM. It just wasn't the typical road women go down to become a mom. I hope that going through all that, and what we will continue to go through in the future will help me be a better, stronger mom for Knox.

So Happy Mother's Day to all your wonderful moms out there. I am blessed to have joined the club and be celebrating my first Mother's Day with my little man.

First Cattle Sale

First off, thank you to everyone for the calls/texts/cards since the three of us arrived home. It has been weird getting adjusted to life at home with a baby, but we are all getting into a routine. 

We didn't let the grass grow under us too long after we arrived home last Wednesday. We loaded Knox up and room off to our sale last weekend. Before you freak out the doctors at Nationwide ok'ed our trip. They told us to take him and treat him like a real baby (wait, he is a real baby!?). 

Not only was it one of our larger sales, but we  (and when I saw we I am including Knox) had our own cattle selling in it. 

Knox, mom, and I hung out at the hotel on Thursday, and then we had some mommy and Knox time on Friday. First time being alone just me and him. I successfully learned how to do things with a baby around - like going to the bathroom! We even tried our hand at going out to a restaurant with Knox. My dad just came saying, "we are out to eat with Knox." After living in a hospital since he was born it felt weird to go out and do regular things. 

Everyone was very surprised and excited to see Knox. He did great and enjoyed his first sale. 

With his new friend Bella

Steve and Knox were comparing scars! 

Not only was it great to get out and show off our baby, but it was great to get back to normal. I told Drew that it made me feel like myself again. It was great to get back to work and know that Knox was just in the office. 

Now we are home for awhile and just trying to adjust to life with a baby. A baby that will be two months old soon! Ah!