The beginning of progress

We are now 3 days out of our heart surgery, 2 days from a follow up heart cath to the surgery, and yesterday we had an MRI. It has been a long, busy, and stressful week, but now all those things are behind us. 

First off, I would like to thank everyone for the encouraging words and thoughts after by previous blog post. It all really meant a lot to me. One of the things I have found so amazing during this is how  many people that come out and share with you the struggles their family or their kids have had. It makes you feel not so alone in this scary world of hospital walls and medical lingo. 

On a happier note, we are on the road to recovery from this first round of procedures and surgery. Today they are working on weaning off the vent, and they just started breast milk again through his feeding tube in his noise. Yay! Both of those are great positives and much appreciated after the last couple weeks. Please continue to pray for good progress! 

We also get to go back to a private room today instead of the post- op surgical bay we have been in. So if you are one of the people that like to send cards through the Nationwide Children's website I will let you know later today what our new room number will be. 

Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers. Knox greatly appreciates them! He says he loves all of you! 

Just one of those days

This was wrote on Tuesday, March 25th.


Unfortunately, at hospitals there are bad days.

Unfortunately, we struggle.

Unfortunately, at times it is really hard.

Today was one of those days.

Let me just go ahead and apologize for not having a happy and sunny blog post today. This might be emotional to read. But like I said in my first post, this blog is also my release for days that it is hard.

Yesterday was such a positive day. Knox did great through surgery, and though it is not a permanent fix to our problem it gives us time to grow, get bigger, stronger, and have the opportunity to go home. He did great when he came back to the ICU, and recovered nicely.

Today we had to go back to the Heart Cath lab for another procedure that is needed to aid with yesterday's surgery. Knox did good through the procedure, but didn't jump back to his normal self after the procedure.

And today I struggled through it.  Some days the stress just gets to hard to handle. And to deal with it - I get upset. I cry. I shutdown.

I am dealing with some personal health problems after my c-section. My child is hurting. I want to hold him and make him feel better, and I can't. With everything that went on today I maybe had 5 minutes alone with Knox. Just time to sit, talk to him, and be with him.

Of course, the nurses don't want him to be in pain, but it makes me upset when they sedate him. Knox opens his eyes and starts to squirm. We get excited. We want to talk to him and look at his eyes. When this happens they want to sedate him. I hate it. I want him to be able to be a baby. I want to look at his little face with his eyes open. I want to see his legs kick. I understand their reasoning, but as a mom who has admired her 18 day old son sitting beside his bed, those little movements make my heart so happy.

I know we are in a time of recovery with Knox, and that is so positive. We are hoping to work on getting off the vent this week, starting feeds back up, and getting off meds. So there are positives going on, but some days its just hard to wrap your head around everything. And sometimes the smallest things just makes everything boil over.

Surgery Update

Good Morning Knox Fans! 

We just heard from the surgeon. Knox did great and the surgery went exactly like planned. Now we work on eating, breathing on our own, and trying to get home soon! Thanks for all the prayers. We will get to see him in the next hour. 

Weekend Love

The weekends at the hospital are always nice. It's quiet. There isn't all the hustle and bustle of the weekday, and there isn't as many people coming in and out if your room. BUT my favorite thing about the weekend is all the extra snuggle time we get to have with Knox. 

We also had visitors! Knox got to meet his Auntie Salena and Uncle Louie! Though they were here the day we delivered they didn't get to see Knox so though a weeks late, Salena got to read him his story, "On the Night You Were Born." 

Today we are just taking the opportunity to hang out before tomorrow's surgery. Please send lots of thoughts, prayers, and good vibes our way over the next 24 hours. 

2 weeks

Today Knox is 2 weeks old! I can't believe it, and I can't believe I have been a mommy for two weeks. Even if we have spent that time in a hospital, and only held him 5 times; I think it's safe to say Drew and I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

With today's milestone, we are also moving toward the future today. Knox will have heart surgery on Monday to begin our road to getting better. So you ask, " I thought he already had surgery?" Sort of. We have had procedures, but they were not able to fix our issues. Drew and I feel confident in the doctor's (because they invented it) ability, and where and what this will set us up for the future. So all you awesome prayer warriors who have been supporting our little guy, please continue to do so over the weekend and into Monday. 

Throughout this week I have had a real issue wrapping my head around surgery even though I knew all along this day would come (and will come again in the future). I have struggled emotionally, and have been exhausted from the tears. I mean it my child and the last thing I want is for him to have to go through surgery or hurt, but I know this is what is best for him and his heart. Both of which I love so much. 

The Knox Report

2 weeks old 

Eating milkshakes again (breast milk) 

Toots a lot 

Told today I look like my doo- da 

Love is in Columbus

Though my blog is called "From Paris with Love," these days all my love is in Columbus, Ohio. As many of you know after some complications with my pregnancy and some special issues with our little one we were sent here to deliver and for baby to receive care. 

Love is a wonderful thing because on March 7th I was blessed to feel the most amazing type of love and that was to become a mommy. Our little bundle of joy Knox was born. 

And not long after that I experienced one of the most difficult things as they swept Knox and Drew off to Children's hospital, and left me to recover at the hospital I delivered at. You talk about a difficult day, but the next day we were reunited when my wonderful doctors and nurses let me have a leave to go officially meet my son. 

Many that know we know that I enjoy writing, and though it is sometimes hard to read its one of the best ways to express what you are feeling or thinking without having to actually talk about it. And right now that is the best for me. I apologize to those who have text or called in the past two weeks to get no answer. But please understand it's hard and we are taking it day by day. I should have taken to the blog earlier, but again - it's just hard. 

So this will be my virtual journal of the new Hatmaker family of three, and our struggles as we work to make little Knox better so we can bring him home. Some days if I'm having a bad day this blog might be hard to read, but I hope and pray in the coming days there will be more happiness because that precious little face sure makes my heart fill with happiness and love. 

Please continue to pray for our little family, and know that we appreciate all of you out there for your thoughts and prayers. 

The Knox Report

Today Knox is 13 days old and we get to hold him today. Only the 4 th time since birth, but we savor every chance! Knox has mom's noise and dad's chin, and looks to be our blue eyed boy. I also think  that he might be a lefty. 

Beauty Swap

Hello Gorgeous!

I am sad that it has took me this long to return to the blogging world, but at least by participating in the Beauty Swap with Crystal of Crystal Cattle and Courtney of Cowgirl Crush made me get back to writing. 

I missed out on the first Beauty Swap Crystal hosted, and was almost too late to the game this time until Nicole over at Farmgirl Chaos was a little behind to. She said, "Why don't we just switch?" Nicole has intrigued me for quite some time, and I have been following her blog plus became Instagram and Facebook friends with her. Isn't social media great? 

I must say that this Beauty Swap couldn't have come at a better time. I am eight months preggo, and have recently been visiting the labor and delivery floor for some blood pressure issues. Last week was quite the awful week for my husband and I, but I came home from the hospital to find a pretty little beauty swap package on my doorstep! Just what this un-showered, nasty feeling hospital visitor could use. 

I love that most of the items she sent me are travel size. Before bed rest I travelled a lot, but now my travel bag to the hospital will be complete with these goodies that Nicole sent me. I am also really intrigued by the little envelope from Young Living she sent me. It is lavender scented (which is my fav!) and the card suggested that I put a drop in my mascara.  I have also wanted to try Bliss products for awhile, but never have dived in, but this body wash/bubble bath will be perfect for this little momma to be. And turquoise! What a surprise! Who doesn't love turquoise!?

Includes: Bliss Soapy Suds, Burt's Bees Facial Towelettes, Forever Red Perfume, Young Living Oils, Victoria Emerson Wrap Bracelet, and CANDY!

Thanks Nicole for making my week!